The Free Lunch Debacle, Or Happy 4th of July Hunger Strike:

In Which Big Z and Lil M Learn There Really Is No Such Thing as a Free Lunch


After a long, breakfastless morning of scrubbing and boat repairs, Mel was feeling a little faint, and decided to rummage through the less-than-frosty
freezer to make a veggie burger for lunch.

BIG MISTAKE, MEL.

Upon entering the galley, semi-frozen patty in hand, Mel was instantly accosted for her choice in cooking methods by the Wife: "You are
going to pan-fry that? You must
grill it!"
Mel calmly explained that really, throwing it on the stove was a far more efficient, if not epicurian, way
of heating the burger. Wife sits back
down in a huff.
Wife watches Mel pull out a pita, hummus and some leftover salad to accompany her burger.
Wife asks Mel to leave out some
of "her" salad because she is ravenous, as she did not eat breakfast. Why? Because she doesn't like granola and almond milk, and her husband was
too busy working on the boat to make her something else.
Mel leaves the salad out, with fork, assembles her sandwich, and sits at the table on the stern to enjoy her
meal.
Robin walks into the galley to grab a snack herself- little did she know she was entering a warzone.
Wife: " I cannot believe this. This
is rude, so rude. What are you, barbarians? You make food for yourself, and you don't even ask if
we all want to eat? then you sit down
outside all antisocial (We eat ALL our meals outside)? It is rude and uncivilized and I am disgusted with both of you. Never have I ever
seen such rude behavior! Opening and shutting the fridge! Always opening and shutting the fridge!"
(Mel is frozen mid-bite just outside, Robin slowly lowers her hands and returns her would-be lunch to the fridge)
"...I don't understand how he puts up with you both - you are rude! and selfish girls! Just get me off this f'ing boat, I mean it! I can't f'ing stand it anymore! Let him deal with you how he likes, I'm getting off this f'ing boat right now!!"

Mel is quite shaken up by the
unexpected outburst, and both girls calmly try to explain that, as they understood it, breakfast and lunch were fend-for-yourself, and dinner was a more structured, sit-down affair. Wife kept screaming, and
Mel, still in shock, tries
to appease: "but I left out the salad?"
"it's only 11:30 - I didn't think anyone was ready for lunch yet?"

Mel and Robin retreat to the stern
to bail water, and mutually agree
to not set foot in "her" kitchen.

Almonds for dinner.